Self Discovery

I am beginning to notice that as I work on myself I start to analyze other people I found out that this is a very toxic distraction in my quest to find out who I am and who I want to become so I am vowing  as of right now that as I continue on this path of self-discovery that I meditate and focus on the person that I want to become and who my higher power wants me to be I believe that my higher power’s will for me is my own to Will for myself

Word Pressing… Pressing Words

My soul shutters my heart aches, from the heaviness and urgency of unspoken syllables nouns verbs 

Pressured down by the prideful spirit that wants to cling and claw and hang on for dear life

For it knows that once released, it had to go

Once released, shared and brought to the light I uncovered the truth…. what I once held on to for dear life … I discovered was killing me

So silently killing me until I confronted its worth … How are you helping me?

Then the beatings the claws and violent destructive force attacked me… It was an inside job

What was once an insidious, subtle intent to destroy me.. Now came the sharp pointy claws the meat gnashing teeth Intent on savoring my demise to the bitter end

I refuse to back down, I refuse to go out without a fight, paradoxically . I l SURRENDER to God, the all knowing,,, he now fights my battles for me/in me

I lovingly allow him to work in and through me Here am I Dear Lord Send me, I’ll go

This has been the most courageous chapter in my book of life, thus far. Today as best I can, I unleash and release the pressing words 

 

A blessing called “Rosebud”

Today is my granddaughter’s birthday. She is two years old today. What a blessing to be a grandmother! To be held in high regards by such a little angel, is like medicine to my soul! Katelynn Rose is her name. She is a gift from heaven! The greatest gift that I can give her is to let her know everyday and in every way, how special she is to me! My gratitude list for today :

  • I’m grateful that I have eyes and  can see my granddaughter
  • I’m grateful for her unconditional love
  • I’m grateful for her beautiful brown eyes
  • I’m grateful that I can buy her all of her favorite treats
  • I’m grateful for the ability to feel loved
  • I’m grateful for the capability to give love
  • I’m grateful for word press to share my love

Left my own devices, I would have self-destructed a long time ago! But God had other plans for me and for that, I am truly grateful! On April 15th, I will welcome a brand-new granddaughter into the world!  The joy that I feel is indescribable. 

Closing prayer, God please grant me the ability to remain forever grateful for all of the Beauty and the seemingly insignificant wonders that you bestow upon me on a daily basis … Amen

Thanks for reading 😃




Happy Birthday Rosebud 🎉🎉🎉

You can still see the reflection of heaven in a muddy pond 

As I stood on a little wooden bridge with my husband on our two year anniversary, I starred into the muddy pond. Moody, emotional , agitated, I watched little turtle heads pop up in the pond. Feeling disconnected from myself, my life, my husband and more importantly, My source! As I continued to gaze into the pond, I noticed the refection or illusion of the sky in the muddy pond. As I continued to gazed I saw a refection a bird flying prospectively in the muddy water. Wow, I said to my husband. “The only things that are real or true in this life are the things that we acknowledge and give meaning to, everything else is an illusion.”Umhum” he responded as he slightly glanced at me through his peripheral view. 

Minutes earlier as we were walking through the park, a little boy leaped from a bench in the park. As he ran toward the pond, we noticed the object of his focus floating at the edge of the water. The boy squatted and watched his football, just within his reach. Immediately , I voiced how dangerous this was! O my what if he falls in and my husband responded with “I wonder where his parents are”! With every intention to continue our stroll without interruption, I saw a long stick and stated, “that would probably help him.” My husband picked it up and walked over to the edge of the pond and rescued the boy’s football. I snapped a picture from the camera on my phone. The boy’s face lite up with joy as he thanked my husband and immediately  jetted across the park grounds. 

I reflected on the beauty of that moment as I wondered what might’ve happened to the boy if we had gone to the beach instead, as I wanted. But, because of the distance and time it would take to travel to and from my desired destination, my husband opted out. He has to be at work early the next morning and we would’ve been getting such a late start. 

 Everything happens for many reasons beyond my comprehension. I chose to believe they are all good! 

 I love the refection of heaven in a muddy pond.

Thanks for reading!